Nameless Poem

On the earth I walk

Of martyrs’ blood dry

Sunken into silence

In colosseum grand

And Regal; among ancient

Stature. There lions ravage

The undefended and

Gladiators played for

Freedom. One day will

I play for my;

Be left ravaged

After amuse I thee.

No night there

To rest; No day, to

Wake. Fear clutters

The sleepless and

Passion the faithful.

Be of good cheer

For tomorrow brings

Paradise or death

Tomorrow, against enemy

I stand—the lion and me

His to win; mine to lose

His fodder my life.

God inspired me

Thereafter life respired

Will he perform;

The enemy will eat,

Curse and play

Rejoice and be no more.

For which I love, give

For which I hope, believe

In turn to lose

For amusment

Per chance, for faith

Fergie- my favourite player in Manchester United

The one who plays all the players. Lets play!

Paradise Lost

With loss of Eden, till one greater Man
Restore us, and regain the blissful seat,
Sing heavenly Muse! that on the secret top
Of Oreb, or of Sinai, didst inspire
That Shepherd, who first  taught the chosen seed,
In the beginning how the heavens and earth
Rose out of Chaos. Or if Sion Hill
Delight thee more, and Siloa's brook that flowed
Fast by the oracle of God, I thence
Invoke thy aid to my adventurous song,
That with no middle flight intends to soar
Above the Aonian mount, while it pursues
Things unattempted yet in prose or rhyme
And cheifly thou, O Spirit! that dost prefer
Before all temples the upright heart and pure,
Instruct me, for Thou knowest; Thou from the first
Wast present, and with mighty wings outspread,
Dove-like sat'st brooding on the vast abyss,
And madest it pregnan; what in me is dark
Illumine! what is low raise and support!
 That to the height of this great argument
I may assert eternal Providence,
And justify the ways of God to Men

Tape on my mouth

It is hard not to write when you feel strongly about something.

It is hard when you cannot be heard.

I cannot write because of fear.

It is frustrating. And yet frustration can boil over to terpidity.

I cannot write because I choose not to write.

I follow the path of inaction and ambiguity.

I cannot write because the message would cover my face with retribution

Sometimes I dream fear and I see fear

I cannot write because the words would be more than my own. It will own others.

I fear the fear of others. I fear for them.

I cannot write because I let the words go into a drain.

Tomorrow when you pick the empty newspaper

You will know why I cannot write again.

And I will be lying there a beggar begging you for my words.


When I was younger, I remember tape on my mouth

I remember a long silence of solemness

It creep in slowly like a bird-

wings masterly fluttering- across the silent ocean

First, I could not hear the words in my buzz and my skip

Then the words took shape of sound and pictures

Some real, some not so;

some close, some not so;

some love, some not so



I taped my own mouth.

They will hang a string

They will leave the room

You will be alone

I taped my own mouth.

Simon Cowell- BBC interview

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/newsnight/8413007.stm

I thought Simon Cowell's interview was interesting. It is quite a philosophical take and answer to the questions and reactions amongst the public and media. Yet I think his opinions are quite rational and calculating- a good insight into the person too. It also helps to explain his view and motives. I also enjoyed the interviewer's questions. I thought they were quite well thought out and phrased.

Maybe, I'll write more next time. For now, enjoy the clip off BBC!

P.S. BBC should give better coverage of the Iranian demostrations. I think it is a blatant reproach to those students who have risked their lives!

1989, 4th June

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40bI6wzCTck

Some rights are not given by governments or laws, they are not protected by armies or constitutions, they are not right or wrong. They are just ours.

Liberty is such.

My reply to Paul Kagame

I was reading an article written by Paul Kagame, President of Rwanda. Rwanda, we remember, as the country in which genocide was committed not too long ago spurring deep reflection from the international committee, in general, and leading world powers, in particular, to reconsider theri ways. It was also the inspiration for many films in media culture such as Hotel Rwanda and Shooting Dogs. Rwanda, today, while still trying to shake off such a gory, bloody image, has developed itself into a "success story- one that many nations in the dark continent of Africa will seek to emulate and be inspired by.

Paul Kagame's essay was on why Africa is welcoming investment from China. It is no new thing that China has sought to expand its influence (however, you want to see it) into different regions in the world. But as Mr Kagame himself pointed out, China's expansion into this part of the world in particular has raised many a question and many a suspicion and that for many a reason. He explains two objections to China's to economic engagement in Africa. Firstly, many opponents feel that this would be "exploitative and undermines the development of democracy and human rights". The other reason is that some feel China is taking over the hold that the West once had on African resources. Kagame feels that this does not tackle the issue as it should. And that, also for two reasons: currently, Africans are not treated as equal partners in economic relations so far and to add to that, African leaders have not played their part in pushing for fair engagement.

With respect to the objections raise, the first objection is valid just as the second is not. The only one entitled to African resources are Africans. This is a matter of sovereignty and ownership. However, I disagree with Mr Kagame as I feel that the first objection raised should be considered fairly. China has not have a good human rights record. Only recently has she started to prosper and clean up her act internationally. As Mr Kagame suggests, Africa needs to be engaged fairly. And African leaders have shown little ability to act fairly on her behalf. Most of them, besides the few good, have acted on self interest and tribal interest. Africa is still riddled not just with problems but with corrupted leaders. While some may argue that the West may have not acted responsibly, as shown by history, towards Africa - exploiting them for their goods and their people - it has over recent years been kept accountable for more and more of its actions. America has poured in billions to Africa that goes more than investing but to aid its feeblest citizens. I am not propagating that aid be a substitute for investment. Of course, it should never be. However, I think that unlike its relations with the West which comes under the microscope of western media, the public and the international community at large, its relations with China is often quiet. Not only does China need scrutiny and to be kept accountable for its actions but so does African leaders. It is hard for Africans to hold their leaders accountable, so the international community should assist.

It would be blind for Mr Kagame to suggest that majority of African nations and their citizens are up to the task of handling human rights and democracy. While they are entitled to liberty ad justice, they are still fighting to achieve it and they need all the help they can get. There is no environment yet in most of Africa for liberty and justice. Many are still waiting for hand outs from western governments and many leaders are still manipulating their country's resources. Kagame suggests that Africans want self-determination and dignity by having jobs and opportunities. I agree that in order to have dignity and stand on its own two feet Africa needs jobs and opportunities. Above all, ordinary Africans need badly to learn that dignity and self determination is important. As yet, many have shown little appreciation of that. And when anything goes wrong, Western governments are petitioned to intervene and the West in general is blindly blamed. Mr Kagame of all people should realize that. Rwanda seems to be doing slightly better once and then it skydived into genocide. Basically, this is because the old mentality had not been routed. Whatever prosperity gained was lost when tribal hatred and ethnic problems prove only solvable through genocide, bloodshed and tribal antics.

Africa needs a culture of democracy and human rights to sustain any material benefits it reaps. It needs development to sustain its investment not as Mr Kagame suggests "investment to sustain development". It needs a mentality among its people and a political culture that instills values of democracy. It also needs reliable institutions to keep its governments accountable. Until then, Africa is a fledging continent. It should be careful of strangers who have little credentials.

Kingdom of Heaven

as the title reads, so i write about. this was the second time i watched the movie but only today did i enjoy it. i thought it was an interesting take on the city of Jerusalem and its long bloody history. it will be hard to ignore that the movie did come with a political and philosophical slant. i think that at the end the director of the picture wanted to show that the religious aura that Jerusalem still carries with it is so contrary to all the animosity it leads to. his solution is peace by realizing that religion is within the heart. i suppose that if everybody could be as the main character in the movie, the conflict would have been solved long time ago. the director presents the conflict as a conflict driven by raw hatred, blind religious fervour led by extremist with a passion for blood.

to a certain extent, i can see his point of view. it is true that often men driven by religiosity find a need to shed blood. religion dost caused blood. but by villaining this men, he cast them into a certain figurine and cartoonish character. instead, it is of my opinion, that he should tried to figure out why were this men so driven by their religion. what was it that cause them to be so stedfast (if i may, for a lack of words)? i think a good beginning would be when the main character decides to follow his father to Jerusalem in search for forgiveness. by simplifying the characters in the plot to evil and good, the director subtracts from the plot the intriguing convergence of 3 major religions in Jerusalem and the dynamics that has ensued and survived years and years and years. in the silence of God, Ballian finds his forgiveness in simply doing good and following his conscience. his conscience leads him to sleep with another man's wife while at the same time refusing to marry her and consign her evil husband to death. if he could have save Jerusalem by marrying her, why did he have to waste life and blood? conscience or political miscalculation? the director leads Ballian the character to a religion that simplifies life as something within the heart- the heart that breaks when his first wife dies. maybe Ballian dost grow up a little coming to Jerusalem by the answers to life are far from over in the face of death and other challengers.

it was good food for thought at how we look philosophically and politically at diplomacy, foreign policy and some of the problems in this century. lessons from history and lessons from the movie theater can be very interesting and insightful at the same time.

It's me again

It's cold here
Under the sun
The leaves wither
And soon the-
Branches break up
Nothing is left
But dead trunks

Music goes off
Long before I-
Fall into sleep
The dream turns
Me over again
I wake up
And it's night

I want sleep
Away from dreams
Into cracks of
Time; no more
Silhouettes- darkness awaits
As empty shells
they'll open windows
to silent room

Blue (Da ba dee)

What an exhausting week! It started off rainy and cold and ended in a blast of sunshine. There are so many little things that make up the weeks as they go by and draw to a close. It it those little things that make or break the week. Anyway, interesting facts too that I pick up here and there.

I have been thinking of going camera plotting again. I don't know why: because I feel bored or just sentimental. But anyway, the idea is to describe something. I feel sick and tired of watching movies and reading the news though never tired of football. Man Utd made it through though it was a harrowing win by a goal against Porto who had never lost to an English side on home soil before. Chelsea-Liverpool match was the big game. Stole the show, I admit. It was a goal fest. One after another, intense right to the end. So I am predicting a Man Utd vs Chelsea final again.

Springs mild descend

It's stealthy and quiet
But it could not be more timely
As it burst through the roots
And from the heavens
Grips you at the toes
And lifts your head upwards
There, where the streams gently flow
Birds chirp, Flowers bud, Leaves sprinkle branches
I love the smell, the rain drops
The anxiety, and yet quiet confidence
Coupled with impatience and laziness
The days get brighter and longer
They find their meaning
Night holds no one refugee
And I breathe the careless spring!

Feb has 28 days! What!

One more post, before the end of Feb '09. It is quite incredible the speed at which whizz pass us. It was but a glimpse of yesterday. I enjoy the fickled weather. It is unpredictable nature has caught me off guard. Just when I was enjoying the azure blue sky and sun rays singing through the heavens, the clouds moved in and the temperature fell. The other day it rained. I went to walk not on the grass but in the carpark. The sand cracking under my shoes. The rain first hit my hair and skin, soon it drenched through the scalp of my head and I felt as if it had over taken me. Every part of the body melted into the rain. It was joyous!
I'm quite glad Slumdog Millionaire won. I mean I think the Acadamy recognize the times and how appropraite it would be. But from what I here it is the way the story is told that makes it an inspiration and captures the imagination of others.
Of course, there was Manchester United playing Inter Milan. Cannot, cannot wait till we beat them the next round at home in Old Trafford! God, please let them put on spectecular display for us!
Liverpool, Chelsea and Arsenal both took off with a goal. Nice start, I say, for an all english ending. Ha!!!!

sleepless night

can't sleep. good or bad? eating. yea, i suddenly have a bloody good appetite!!

i have a friend who blogs really well, for random bloggers looking for random reads, this is highly recommended:

http://elizabethjoymiller.blogspot.com

i keep thinking. i think that i won't stop thinking. think think tinker sign

tonight, or rather this beautiful morning, i will be totally dead in class becaue i can't study and can't read and can't sleep. i am a wanderer in my head. little wanderings, here and there. until the morning rays blink hysterically through my blinds, then it will be gone all the uncertainties and i will be there- dead in the real world. i am not going to be able to talk in class. what is worse, i have homework to do and i actually can't do it when i drastically need to do it its a major components of grades. the problem is i have been trying. so i will keep trying

here is the good news. the world is going to flood. i mean rain cats and dogs. i want it to rain, rain, rain and pour upon our parched souls!

Steps

I feel happy. This week was busy. Sometimes tiring. But God made it good- mercies and joy were splashed on the paper.
I had two exams and my econ paper was badly written, my spanish exam was quite bad too. I felt like I could have panick. It isn't that it has gone out of mind, its just God helped me to get through it. There is no explanation for what I did right this time.
I realised that sometimes, you don't plan. Because you simply cannot. It is also worse when you fail. I don't mean not to have goals or determination. I think you just cannot expect it to happen like it should. You can plan to succeed, but you may not. You try, but it is not always to exaction. It happens that we succeed. And it happens that we don't.
So today, I thank God I am still alive.
Whatever happens, happens. I don't know what or how. Its hard to think of tomorrow, why go so far? It is easier to live one step at a time. When I lose control it is eaier to grapple with the moment and when I am dishearten, I know that joy comes in the morning. And if it dosen't then I 'll have to wait till it does. One morning.
I think what I would miss most is not lost opportunities per say. But momments and occassions. I am being vague because it is easier to be general. But I would say this especially with people. Music and poetry, running and basketball and football- rhythm. And with people its the same thing- rhythm. Expression and nerves.
So this week was good, thank God.

Snow prayer

Dear God,
Please make my heart, soul and mind white as snow. As the snow that falls from heaven so make my heart through the Blood of Thine Son, Jesus Christ, in Whose Name I pray, Amen.

Thoughts from nature

The snow is glistering as the sun smiles on it. it feels sacarstic. almost like snide. I behold the relationship between them, and I think everyone has its day over the other.
i had another allegory in my mind, friendship is like colours put together. colours blend and don't. but sometimes they also offer a different spectrum even in the way they blend or not blend. why do they blend, how do they blend and even in blending might there be ways in which their effects are rough.

Did you see the forecast? Wintry mix.

I was walking to class today. The pavement was either sealed in freezing ice or brown snow. The roads were messy with sludge. It looked like an ordeal for most to simply walk to and from class. Even cars and buses were at pains. The sight of the havoc wrecked by the 3 days of snow was simply disgusting.
But the rest was beautiful. Besides the mess. I am not sure how thats possible. The rest of earth seem to melt into the cream of snow. It was a lush fragrance of white. Upon which I felt my body would have sunk into. If not for the thought that crossed my mind...
The roads were smudge into puddles of crush ice mixed with snow, unpure and unwrapped for the fine wintry mixed it was because we had trampled upon it. Our shoes and our cars and our buses. Our- that was what destroyed the scene that fell form heaven. We- that was what wrecked the damage. Me- that was who made the difference.
I looked back and forth and the vast difference became clearer and clearer. The contrast was starked. It sprang upon me from the sides, like thoughts of invisible men... There WE were, and we complained.

Another day, another time...

Some pictures first to make my blog less wordy-








Today, we did not have school.
How did that happen, I don't know.
Yesterday, I did not have school.
Can miracles happen twice? In a row?
It snowed and snowed and snowed. And just when it was going to stop. It snowed.
The exciting thing about here is that there are so many natural extremities and calamities for reasons not to go to school. I remember saying its exciting. But its also school-less. I mean even if people wanted to be stingy about school-hard task masters- they can't becasue of the weather. And God controls the weather. So pray. Pray and pray.

Recently besides the incessant snowing, I got to go to a waterfall and on trek. I really enjoyed myself. I have to thank God this semester seem a lot less stressful. Not because the classes are any less hard. I am still taking about the same number of credit hours. Its the pure mercies of God.

New Year' 09 and a new entry

New year, but is there anything new under the sun? Indeed, time flies but we already knew that.
Everytime I think of time and spaces, landmarks and occassions, I think of the aging factor. I think if I feel more grown. And the truth is, not really.
There is a lot to be thankful for in the year 2008. I think just the sheer enormity of 2008 is baffling. Its like you have a new calender every new year. It is white and clean and empty. And at the end when you look back, it is riddled with things it has balloned with notes and scrap paper and all of the everyday things. And happenings. And you thank God its over.
But I forget, you don't actually stop for there is no day zero. No fullstop, no pause. It was just that moment of thought. That marked something. Thoughts of thankfulness and regret. Thoughts of contemplation and resolution.
And the new year, what, a span of time to be soon over!

The story of change- American election 2008

As I sit here, keeping track of the American elections, as political pundits try to call the game early; I realised sometimes part of playing a game is knowing your weaknesses and knowing the formidable-ness of the opponent. Before I elaborate on this thought though, I want to go into my stochastic thoughts...

Long before this game is over, many would predict an Obama win, it seems at this stage that the fight is closer than it was in the primaries when Obama was pitted against Clinton. Money, energy and incredible spirit went into the campaigns but particularly Obama's campaign. Yes, it really was his. This whole election would probably be another one, if not for him. What is it about him? Is it that he has made history? Before that, was it his ideas, his speeches, his charisma that rallied crowds and caught theri attention.

Obama runs by something that few people have ever runned by. Yes, he has indeed enmassed crowds becasue of the historicity of his run and later his canidacy. Again, his down-to-earth speeches could not have been more eloquent and eye catching. Finally, he had the charm and grace of a politician. And yes, we must not forget every situation was in his favour. There was the war to begin with. The more it lingered, the louder in tingered in the ears of the American electorate. Oil prices were swooning right over the heads of the largest oil consuming economy, people were fuming. Then, when he found himself in a dead heat with McCain, who had seem to had found a game changer in Sarah Palin, Barack Obama was handed the economic crisis. Not just a depression, but a money market failure. The federal reserve bank and treasury were at their wits end pulling all stops to prevent investment banks from going down. When Lehman filed for bankruptcy, people trembled. Many homes forclosed and soon home owners were facing the downward pressure, owing more on morgages then their homes cost. It hit close to home. But it wasn't all handed to him. Yes, he ran on the troubles on America, but the question is who did he run as?

Most politicians, choose to publicized themselves as the guy-next-door or your everyday person. Just like most Americans, they want to picture humble beginings and hhardwor, good values and maybe, from a certain perspective, a kind of fairy tale ending. But Obama did more than that, he wanted to portray himself not just as an everybody. He wanted to be the saviour. Like Jesus, he wanted to be a carpenter's son. Like Jesus, he wanted to be the son of a widow. Like Jesus, he wanted to be a revolutionary. Like Jesus, he wanted to out talk the pharisees, scribes and Romans of the day. Like Jesus, he wanted to help the poor and out. Like Jesus, he wanted to teach the people. And like Jesus, he came at the time of captivity.

But he is not Jesus. Obama promised change but never did he exactly state what change he had in mind. He mounted the stumps, promising a departure from poltics, was he promising paradise? He raillied supporters, mostly youth to inspiration slogans and chants! He decried the apostacy of the Bush policies and instead he said believe in me becasue I am change. He declared that he wanted to give back the wealth to the people. By saying this, he was saying that he knew, just like Jesus, that he could tax people who work and give it to those who need it. He is the invisible hand of the free market. He is the hand that will decide becasue he has an instinct and foresight of prophecy. When he first came on the presidencial scene, he said that he was the only one, who voted against the war. And therefore, he had such a deep insight that he was the man for America. Had he not told them, the war was wrong! And now had it not come to passed! What folly that others had not listen. Becasue he could tell right form wrong. He could distinguish failure from success. And if America needed a messiah, it was now! So now, O America, the land of the brave and free, now vote for thy messiah!

He told them vote for change if you want to see prosperity. If you want to wake up and see the flowers blooming and the leaves blossoming. If you want to see your generations flourishing, then now is the time to vote for change. He was the epitomy of that change. It wasn't a philosophy or a system of values or even a science. If anything it was him. Just as people believe in Jesus, now turn ye, and believe in this god. He didn't stop there alot of being a god is the image of it and so he went to Europe, sat with leaders, made speeches in historical settings and then in the eyes of many he tried to prove his credibility, his signs and miracles.

His first and probabaly only track record was that vote- that vote that he voted against the war in Iraq. Undeniably, he did. But could not that have been anything, a gamble. To jugde a man, judge him in his ideologies. Like Jesus wanted to be jugde, Jesus thought you should jugde him for his doctrines. And maybe thats what Obama failed to realised. It is not the miracles, it is not even the prophecies. It is the doctrines. Because as Jesus predicted many will come in His name, with signs and miracles, healing the poor and blind and lame. But your doctrine, the principle is where you test the mantle of the prophet. Not the charism, the gift, the courage, the look but the doctrine.

Unfortunately, the final doctrine and principle I got from Barack Obama leaves mw without a shadow of doubt. At first he was all chant and spirit but as the story unfolded Barack Obama, the man of change, retarded to socialism. I am hardly surprise, for why should I be. Socialism is just the euphumism and child of communism, also known as Marxism. But socialism is also where man say that we know better, we are the hands of the market, we are god above others above the layman of America. Above them all, we can therefore know what is good more than you. Is not that his philosophy? The doctrine of Barack Obama claims that he as man is the new god.

And finally that is what I think he does not get Barack Obama cannot be the saviour of America. Yes, we all have a responsibility in thsi world. But we, no matter how much we learn, no matter how much virtue there is in us, we are never, never in a position to be better than another. To force our virtue on others. See, at the end of the day, this is it. Jesus kingdom was not of this world, he was not interested in the politics of it, he really wanted to save people souls. But Obama cannot deny that if anyhting his prize is earthy and just like his prize so he must be earthy too. He cannot be Jesus, he cannot be a messiah, he cannot be a saviour and he cannot be above his fellows. He thus, admits so, then he must admit his foundation, doctrinal principles are wrong.

And for that, no matter, the election results, Barack Obama, I believe, is wrong.