Reconcilation

The month of July and it nears the end. The reminder in the cup is shallow. What thoughts would saturated the dregs of the cup...
People always talk about the limitations. The problem is that I do not recognized the limitaions. For example, when I play I do not know the limitations and I cross the boundaries. Which apparently is a clear thin lline to everyone else. In a way it is also true for myself. I must regonize the threshold. No, I don't. It crosses my mind that I may never know my endurance level until I break it or touch it.
And it occurs to me that the sense of it is reasonable. Are there signs that point to the eventuality? I have been trying to gauge. I am in the midst of the study and I would rerasonably answer that yes there is, mostly thought the interpretations can vary. It calls for closer attention. Concentration.
I need to concentrate. Be concious of things around me.
So as July 07 slips out of my hand like the grains of sand, time will eventually run out on us all, I reckon that it only remains to be said that I did regret no paying close attention to life around me. What is it? Is it selfishness and deceit that negates that attention. Or is it just a mere stupididty that results in sucha lack of study?
The interesting thing is that the boundary is nominal. It flips and turns according to occasion and circumstance. It therefore requires experiments that may be too costly because they involve human feelings.

the month of July

Honestly, I think that reading too much, filling myself from head to toe with the words of books, make me lifeless after a while. Just like the adage all work and no play makes jack a dull boy. I think reading too much take the purposes and inspiration out of words. I feel that I trap myself in an entanglement and lose the meaning of the toiling and the reason for expression.
So when I pull myself out of it all and look back, I realize why it was such a sombre journey so dilapidated of energy. It gets boring and tedious when I do not remember the conviction and urge that has stirred up such great vengence so that I had a belief that I needed to pen it down through much toil and labour. Even the ideas lose its spirit and form. They merely stroke the fire of frustration.
Coming back to earth, to the touch of reality brings back every other touch. It takes away the stress.
Now, I have began to read, once again, The Wealth of Nation. Wealth, says Hobbes, is power. I do think that reading it has both a sense of boredom and liveliness. Boredom because it is tedious going through every idea only to feel the dryness of each thought. Just like words would do. They always do that. But liveliness because every though dry and lifeness connect meaning to facets of a pulsating world. Yet boredom again, because so what that it does? And still lively, because your mind is occupied. The argument goes on.
I have been wondering all this while what to do. Education they say is not that important after all. At least soformally. Because one can always educate oneselve. The problem that in the ways of the world you have to be out there to see it. It is not just the formal education but the breakthrough in society. A cruel market that we need to be wise as serpents. The only way to get that wise part is to get acquainted with it.
The good part is that it has been raining this few nights. the red sky, just the thought of it make sme feel the cozy night and when the trees sashay to the beat of the rain, it is a heavenly perspective. Wherever you are you cannot be denied that pleasure. Only the deaf or blind.
If I do not move, I can travel. If I do not move I can stay hidden here. I can hide under the covers. I can go for escapes. I can sit under the moon. I can linger in thoughts and sleep late. I will be sheilded from almost everything.It won't be a painless exsistence, just less painful.
Then I will go back to Cameron soon.

Whereabouts..

Till Monday, it will b break or make. Scary.
Anyhow, I am glad to finish another chapter. Or least I hope it is. At least for now. I think it came of quite well mixed, the facts and the non facts, alos I think the theory and the ideas is there. Hopefully it is well explained. I will definitely have to revisit it but at least for now it has taken some form the upgrading and add ons can come in later.

In a moment.

The bird flies into the horizon. I see its jaggered-end wings flap rythmatically and soon I hear it as well. It hits the air heavily. Like when one flaps a dusty mat and suddenly the dust falls off into life.. Taking to the sky, its breathe is drawn in in magnificent and you could hear the tiny heart so high in the sky with all the majesty and illusions you have never touch. You wonder at the serenity through it in such an exhilerating occassion. It is slow and pronounced, so that it is almost close to my ears and I can feel the vibration. Slowly it just drops out of sight as the last drop of refreshing cold water into a thirsty soul and then close your eyes and ravish the memory.