sleepless night

can't sleep. good or bad? eating. yea, i suddenly have a bloody good appetite!!

i have a friend who blogs really well, for random bloggers looking for random reads, this is highly recommended:

http://elizabethjoymiller.blogspot.com

i keep thinking. i think that i won't stop thinking. think think tinker sign

tonight, or rather this beautiful morning, i will be totally dead in class becaue i can't study and can't read and can't sleep. i am a wanderer in my head. little wanderings, here and there. until the morning rays blink hysterically through my blinds, then it will be gone all the uncertainties and i will be there- dead in the real world. i am not going to be able to talk in class. what is worse, i have homework to do and i actually can't do it when i drastically need to do it its a major components of grades. the problem is i have been trying. so i will keep trying

here is the good news. the world is going to flood. i mean rain cats and dogs. i want it to rain, rain, rain and pour upon our parched souls!

Steps

I feel happy. This week was busy. Sometimes tiring. But God made it good- mercies and joy were splashed on the paper.
I had two exams and my econ paper was badly written, my spanish exam was quite bad too. I felt like I could have panick. It isn't that it has gone out of mind, its just God helped me to get through it. There is no explanation for what I did right this time.
I realised that sometimes, you don't plan. Because you simply cannot. It is also worse when you fail. I don't mean not to have goals or determination. I think you just cannot expect it to happen like it should. You can plan to succeed, but you may not. You try, but it is not always to exaction. It happens that we succeed. And it happens that we don't.
So today, I thank God I am still alive.
Whatever happens, happens. I don't know what or how. Its hard to think of tomorrow, why go so far? It is easier to live one step at a time. When I lose control it is eaier to grapple with the moment and when I am dishearten, I know that joy comes in the morning. And if it dosen't then I 'll have to wait till it does. One morning.
I think what I would miss most is not lost opportunities per say. But momments and occassions. I am being vague because it is easier to be general. But I would say this especially with people. Music and poetry, running and basketball and football- rhythm. And with people its the same thing- rhythm. Expression and nerves.
So this week was good, thank God.

Snow prayer

Dear God,
Please make my heart, soul and mind white as snow. As the snow that falls from heaven so make my heart through the Blood of Thine Son, Jesus Christ, in Whose Name I pray, Amen.