My first job

So I finally had a job. Yea, my first. And I must say, I quite enjoyed myself.

I know a lot of people had different expectations of how I would response to having a job (actually, I was holding two), but I don't really care what they make about the whole episode.

Instead, let me give you my inside feelings

People don't really get it, do they? After all, we were made with hands and legs, mouth and eyes and all those parts that make us function. The point is we need to function. And function I did. It drags us and push us and press us so we know we are incapable of being perfect.

I was a fundraiser for 7 weeks. Yea, I counted, because to me it was telling a story- my own story that I did not know what would happen next. I felt like I was awe struck and sleep walking. I had to talk to myriad people asking them to go on a scheme to help cancer patients. I had to work hard through thick and thin. I had to take the slamming doors, be ready for any response but above I had to get on with the job. It was never easy, it was not just doubting yourself but doubting if what you did had any meaning. In a way, many ways, I was not made for such a job. But I liked getting over all the obstacles, I like falling and then having the unexpected. For the first 3 weeks, I barely earned since I was paid on commission but it was during that period, I learned most. Keep going and keep praying.

I like earning when the money came in because I had sweated for it. It is different from receiving money. It is different when you give it away too. You comes from the heart. It belongs to you and you can give it from your heart.

Above all, I thank God for helping me through and I had so much fun!

I don't know what is going to happen next.

I know when you are earning a living, it is easy to lose sight of living. Living becomes a basic, manual personification a being could portray. I think this understanding help me to connect with people, to understand that we lose touch of all the intangible things. I am glad that through this period I did not lose touch with God because He helped me through everyday. I know though that people get tired and as their eyelids close they draw into themselves for the basic things they crave. Now, I understand. Now, I feel.

I also had a chance to see what different is. And how different is not. People need to feel and sometimes they need cry and sometimes they need to laugh. But sometimes we need another person with us to do that. I got to see the society I live in. I got to understand their culture and their thought process. And I learn how to deal with it. I don't know if I am used to it now, but I feel more in control when I see it. I will not be dampen by it. Because two wrongs does not make a right. I also saw poor and hardship. I saw people making ends meet and I saw people living in holes. Sometimes, I was quite scared. I walked into people's life. I look at the world from their shoes and then I understood that life is not so simple. And I like it.

I wanted an experience and in seven weeks I got it. It was a great trip and I back. I am content and happy. I had fun.