Finally I understand our Differences

I am back in Spore. Unexpectedly for a break. 4 months. And already barely a week, I am wishing it was over. Not because I do not love home. In fact home is the saving grace but Spore is a new perspective. While I am at it let me introduce that we are starting construction on the IR. At the same time, the IMF/WB meeting is currently underway. Singapore ban the presence of at least 20 activist which left the WB unhappy. The full process of the institution is not just the meeting but the prescence of all forms of participation including those of the activist. Singapore, however felt that their prescence would endanger the safety and decroum of life here and so they prohibited their entering Singapore.

In my room with the windows open sometimes I hear children screaming and babies crying. I hear the vulgar talk of the neighbor below and the chatter of idle housewives. It occurs to me that life for them is a deceit. It is the everyday and care of the self and around, the gossip and the perception. It is the outward and the form. The make and the built. Everything else is sequential or negated. When I went out the oppressive cold stare or the let of regard of human survival, I could not take it. Nobody said good morning,nobody smiled, nobody look at people and saw it was a human being. No. It was all about moving fast, making money, saving face, looking good and frontal vision. I saw the herd and I moved out of their way. Everybody evaded me but it was nothing personal towards me. It was personal to them. I wanted to help, to smile but I felt like the wall again pressed into whiteness. Ostracized because I walk too slowly, evaded because I smiled. So I am very conflicted if I should pick up pace, stop looking around and wipe that smile off my face. Becasue after all is it not a culture of comformity, of blending in and being part of the herd and of saving face.

Yes, I am so sick of it. I am not for rebellion of revolt. Or ostentaciosity and pompousness. I just think we should take our time to be sincere beings. We should realize that civilization exsist for the being and not the being for civilization. The world was created for men. Why not slow down and try to be yourself. I am trying though I may not be the most perectly sane, we don't have to be colourful about it. Just a simple smile on your face instead of a rigid, tight, self concious, intimidating look might do miracles for you. Forget the cosmetics and forget the latest fashion, it is what you are that can change the tide, it si cheer that may save the one you never met.