After sunset...

It is easy. Too easy to denounce. It is easy. Too easy to shrug everything off. The more I look at it the more I see...

There are those conversations that are light hearted but far from superficial. There are things not plastic that can be said to those who are.

...I see myself caught in a game that I have made up for myself. It holds anchor deep. Someone said light leads to the depth where darkness beholds...

The lamentable things the human kind convert after. Knowing it is fading beauty, passing glory. People hold out their smiles, they hardly mean it. It is the handshake of deceit.

... I begrudge them because I cannot see the other side of the panel. I feel that crossing their path is mixing everything up. Like a fool, I succumb to my own rigid chains. It is so hard to ammend because I am afraid to start form scratch, I refuse to see that I am wrong...

It is the game of betrayal. The game where the first to lose is the biggest winner. As we climb the stairs to heaven or maybe descend it to hell, we forge identities. Breaching every rule we create.

I doom my own soul with fear. Every minute with pain. Because I smell before I see. I defeat it's reasons before I acknowledge it's prescence...

Yet in all these we care about the insignificant. Hope for the minimal and die like the animals. Life thrust is death and all that leads to it. A bag of bones.

I recommend to myself the prescription of hope and live. The joy to put away. That starts by changing every idea, of letting fear go and abiding by forgiveness. It is the lessons I pick up but the fears that I drown.

An apology is given. And I mean to keep my word. No matter how many times it fails, by the end of this period it will be through.