My Walk

My walk

I went for a walk today after late lunch. I treaded on foot for 1 and a 1/2 hour. Sometimes, distances seem shorter with people alongside and nature seems less intimidating with friends. I pass the horses, they were hidding in their shelters. I felt like them. Lonely and sullen as the days limb on... The ground was damp and the woods breathe the freshness of yesterday's showers. Walking alongside my only companion, the creek, who understood what I was missing. It was swollen and cold. The wind rustle the leaves. I felt the chill, then it hit hard: I am here ALONE. I walked in a surreal state of mind. Trying to think positively, trying to smile with nature but the cold strong winds were not helping.

First, I passed the area covered in fossils. Hidden beneath: our steps, conversations, frolicks. There your voices ring in my heart. I stood form the bench opposite and sat there as if from afar. Looking and longing. Then to the rope swing hanging unuse from the tree. Not moving, dead, nearly touching the swollen waters waiting to burst from their banks if the sky had cried with my broken heart once again. There I could hear your voices over the phone but not feel the comfort of your presence, not relive the mommet. What is gone cannot be recreated. There is the One and Only. Death is more painful if life was beautiful. Memory's shadows are more real when the heat still exsits.

Yes, I was cold. There, alone. Why did you not follow me to the creek?

Then I move along the muddy sticky road. All slushy and slippery. I was wearing slippers and jeans. Trying to evade the brunt of the my foolishness and the dirt from whence I came. The tall trees hid the dreary sky from my sight, the clutter of greenery on the moist soil seem to say "time goes on, so must you" I walked on not pass. The quiet stillness embeded my wounded soul in its shades. I heard the scrambling of the squirrels at times and the ringing silence that distilled my surrealness. I was walking in no-state-of-mind. Enjoying the moment alone. The calmness that set on me... Sorrow had found a place in nature's bosom.

So I traverse where I went not... Freshness was a rest. Though I trembled at my vulnerability to being lost, maybe I needed it for a change... So I let the path lead me and where it diverged just my whimps. Can lost be more lost? There was a sign that read "Miami's spider research. Do not disturb areas that are flagged". I did not see any flags for a way, then in the midst of the bushes I spied small orange flags. Did spiders hide there? If spidology took so much space and research, then what was the world? Would humans clinch the "all knowing" credentials? Far from it... If evolutionist thought that early humans came into exsistence millions of years ago and so far we have not even understood ourselves scientifically, let alone emotionally and spiritually- how can our complex situation come out of a big bang. The Big Bang seems like mystical illusion. A short fused answer to a complex question. The easy way out.

After sometime, through the scatter openings between the trees, there amidst the cracks I sighted civilization. From my dark thoughts and stillness I soon came upon dusty roads. And I knew where I was: lost. I must have been at the stadium. From the stadium I walk up a steep slope. The wind was gusty and at one point, I could hardly breath. I had to stop, bend and open my mouth to concentrate on breathing. The sand and leaves were dragged to Heaven. But I, half of me wish I could be just like them, yet I knew not if they would really be like Elijah. The can of coke slamped noisily against the cement drain. The lamp post shook like a reed with the the Miami flag tied to it being whipped by the winds. I marched along...