I Am Patriotic.

What happened to Chee Soon Juan? Do Singaporeans care at all? I feel to them, everything is material. Wake up people!!! Before everything is gone...

SOME DAY

Been really down. And the thing I really feel terrible about, is that I don't know why!! What is the problem with me? I couldn't sleep for two days and don't even feel like eating... Now that is not good... Anyway, I am already feeling much better. Thx God! Thx to alot of people who are really good friends. Have you ever wondered what real friendship mean? I think I can tell you more of what it does not mean. Cause I know so many instances. Friends who called themselves friends. Sometimes I don't know how you view our friendship or maybe I am just assuming there is one. I try to look on the bright side. I don't hate you, you just make me feel like a loser and maybe that makes you happy. You know who you are, I really don't have to mention names... When I love, I love all the way, you can be assured of that. Where are you, my friends?
Goodnight.

INFINITY: as I see it.

Today is over. Tomorrow is here. Today has started. Tomorrow is coming.
Living at 00:oo:00

Travail

What are you thinking? Everything is so
conflicting? What is balance? What is equality?
Why does life has to be so complicated, then so
simple. This itself is so conflicting.
My soul is troubled, I am not at
peace-
I am surrounded by questions
I am surrounded by
answers
I am encompassed by life
And I find no avenue of
escape
Now I carry the burden of me and my world and I
cannot hide from it. To be less than that is to be ignorant, conceited and a
corward. It is to be everything that is not humanity.
To be more than that is torture, is pain, a sign of
humanity, a sign of depravity, a sign that nothing will ever be perfect.
Perfection is not beauty, Beauty is not
perfect.
Life has fooled us, cheated
us.
Then it is a gift, only one
gift.
I don't want to give away this gift because it
is mine, it is precious and it is a gift of love, a gift of who I am. But it is
too much to bear, it is encumbering me. I am so small, it is a giant. I am
David, it is Goliath. But I do not know the end to this story. I t is but the
begining of the sojourn.
I can only make it up with love- what is
painful to overcome my pain, a pain killer-
And yet you would not understand, if I told you
I have tried to give everything, I have love where it hurt and I have tried to
make you smile and you would call me a fool. You take my lightedness as
simplicity, my easiness to task-
I take it cause it is my only way of escape,
escape from knowing I am part of the cause of your sorrow, of your anger, of
what I cannot see but see its existence. And I want to help make it lighter. I
want to help you smile, maybe for a while, but at least provide you an escape
but for a season so that I may escape.
Because it is me to feel pain and it is me to
love. Just as I know it is me that gives pain and me that needs love.
I am sorry if I have not been everything I
should or say I am.
I am just learning to play a game, that means
so much to me, where a mistake will hurt you whom I love and where you are my
opponent.

People say that once you lose something, you appreciate it better. I can't just help but feel that this is so true in my life. In a way, it is a life filled of mistakes, damaging me and those around me. But I know if I lose this life, I would appreciate it so much better! It is one life I can't return to, so right now I am simply living it- mistakes and all!
Welcome to my life. It is human to err.

It Is Human to Err Again.

What is in a chance
Just another problem
Love begotten
To be given once

And then— another time
Given to hope
Taken
like a life rope—
Is it a crime

To give a second chance
To dash
expectation
And then give another invitation
For a second dance

P.S. Hey but don't err on the same things to many times, you are either stupid or sturborn!

On His Blindness- John Milton

When I consider how my light is spent
Ere half my days in this dark world and
wide,
And that one talent which is death to hide
Lodg'd with me useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, lest he returning chide,
"Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?"
I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies: "God doth not need
Either man's work or his own gifts: who best
Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state
Is kingly; thousands at his bidding speed
And post o'er land and ocean without rest:
They also serve who only stand and wait."

what is color?
a sense of expression
a sense of distance
a sense of meaning
a sense of time
a sense of the world around us.
close your eyes and darkness is now a color...

My Thoughts and a poem by Fritzgerald

I walked pass my thoughts today. It was an open grassland, at least two soccer fields, behind leaveless tress.
Dry and sparse. I could see everything, it was suddenly so simple. And then I realized that that was only my thoughs for that moment. I snapped out of my thoughts into life.
But again is not life a passing moment, something we go through to die, like we sleep to die. Complication. Maybe it is just how we look at life, maybe we take it too seriously, maybe we only start living when we die...

The Dream Called Life

From the Spanish of Pedro Calderon de la Barca

A dream it was in which I found myself.And you that hail me now, then hailed me
king, In a brave palace that was all my own, Within, and all without it, mine;
until, Drunk with excess of majesty and pride, Methought I towered so big and
swelled so wide That of myself I burst the glittering bubble Which my ambition
had about me blown, And all again was darkness. Such a dream As this, in which I
may be walking now, Dispensing solemn justice to you shadows, Who make believe
to listen; but anon Kings, princes, captains, warriors, plume and steel, Aye,
even with all your airy theatre, May flit into the air you seem to rend With
acclamations, leaving me to wake In the dark tower; or dreaming that I wake From
this that waking is; or this and that, Both waking and both dreaming; such a
doubt Confounds and clouds our moral life about. But whether wake or dreaming,
this I know, How dreamwise human glories come and go; Whose momentary tenure not to break, Walking as one who knows he soon may wake, So fairly carry the full
cup, so well Disordered insolence and passion quell, That there be nothing after
to upbraid Dreamer or doer in the part he played; Whether tomorrow's dawn shall
break the spell, Or the last trumpet of the Eternal Day, When dreaming, with the
night, shall pass away.

Edward Fitzgerald